end the To do list drama
I love alliteration, don’t you? So here’s a productivity helper that I use and have shared with many clients. It helps me go from Stress List to To Do List on days when I’m feeling really overstimulated or stressed. Hopefully, the D-theme puts a smile on your face (it’s hard to stress and smile at the same time!) and helps you remember it when you need it.
There’s a common misconception that productivity is about getting all the things done. Or getting as much done as possible. One secret is that people who are productive are really good prioritizers who are able to let go of things that don’t need to be done, so they have enough capacity to do the things that matter most.
Step 1
Brain Dump
Write everything that’s on your mind onto a piece of paper. I mean it…paper…using your hand and a writing implement. This helps your brain register that you are moving this content out of your body. It’s important to understand that this step is not your To Do list. It’s a list of tasks that are on your mind (ideas, you could call them…) that you are dumping out. This confrontation might begin to show you just how many things you’re asking of yourself. It might also clear your mind and help you let go of some of the invisible tasks: the cognitive work of remembering and organizing information in your brain.
Step 2
Down-Regulate
Cover the list and walk away if you need to. Use a strategy like deep breathing, walking outside, or screaming into a pillow before listening to a soothing song.
Step 3
Delegate-Delete-Delay-Dilute
Once you’re calm, return to your Brain Dump:
DELETE those lovely ideas that are just not that important now that you’re calm.
Barrier: Rigid thinking and anxiety that makes you believe that all ideas are of equal value and should turn into reality. This is not true, because we have infinite ideas and limited time and energy to do things. Take some deep breaths and try again.
DELAY tasks (and set a future date) for anything that does not fit your priorities for the day (or week) and does not actually need to get done right now.
Barrier: Perfectionism and/or some high energy feeling that makes it seem like everything has to get done ASAP. This is not true, because it’s simply not possible. Give yourself a hug and try again.
DELEGATE parts or whole tasks to anybody else that is available to help.
Barrier: Sense of shame or over-responsibility that you have to do it all. Belief that it has to be perfect and no one else would do it perfectly, so it has to be you. This can’t be - you can do it all or you can be well, it’s your choice. We were never meant to do it alone, it takes a village! Most of us today don’t really have a village, but that doesn’t mean you will suddenly be able to do a village’s-worth of tasks. Say something kind to yourself and try again.
DILUTE tasks to find a realistic, less overwhelming version of them. Reflect on what is most important in the original version and let go of the “fluff.”
Sidenote: I used to say “Good Enough,” and it was an outlier to the D theme, and that was awful. A client suggested “Dilute,” and I just about cried joyful tears!
Barrier: Pesky perfectionism and rigid thinking again. You have to do it in the form of the original idea, and anything different than that is worthless. Or you imagine yourself to be in some competition or upholding ‘shoulds.’ This is not true. An idea is just an idea. Changing ideas are signs of creativity, resilience, and acceptance. Change that idea to find the version that lets the task be good enough and let’s you be ok at the same time. Shake it off and try again.
Step 4
Do It.
Now you’ve got a To Do list! So Do it! Ok, easier said than done.
For more help on motivation & momentum, look to my other blog posts.
