what is this feeling?

The sun is shining, and the wind is blowing in some whimsy, so I’m going to bring two of my passions together for this post: emotional intelligence and musicals!

Wicked was one of my favorite musicals of my teenage years, and I had the thrill of seeing the original cast on Broadway. I was delighted by the movie, and my kids and I have been enjoying sing-a-longs a lot recently. One of our favorites is “What is this Feeling?” So, let’s check out the emotions skills of our complicated heroines Elphaba and Galinda.

I’ve written in other posts about Dr. Marc Brackett’s model for learning emotions skills, with the acronym RULER that he describes in his book Permission to Feel, and I’ll use his model here.

Option to sing along!

RECOGNIZE: Recognize you’re having an emotional experience by noticing changes in body sensations, patterns of thinking, content of thoughts, and/or behavior change.

What is this feeling, so sudden and new

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you?

My pulse is rushing

My head is reeling

My face is flushing

Check!

UNDERSTAND: Explore, with non-judgment, what the emotion(s) are in response to, and heed their ‘message.’

I felt the moment I laid eyes on you?

…For your face, your voice, your clothing

…Every little trait, however small

Makes my very flesh begin to crawl

Very good! Ok, these are the in-the-moment things. There’s more going on here between them: some contenders are envy, jealousy, judgment, shame

LABEL: Name the feeling(s), as specific as you are able

What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame.

Does it have a name? Yes. 

Loathing

Unadulterated loathing

Check!

EXPRESS: Let your feelings out in a healthy way, such as journaling, sharing with a trusted person…or singing and dancing about it. 

Check!

REGULATE: Harness the energy of the emotion(s) in a productive way and calm the nervous system.

Though I do admit it came on fast

Still I do believe that it can last

And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long

Miss! Thinking that a feeling will last forever is an over-identification. Elphaba and Galinda might realize that all feelings, however strong, come and go. Situations change. Which of course, they do (spoiler alert) by the end of their night out at the Ozdust Ballroom. 

Emotions skills are just that - concepts and practices that can be learned and developed over time.
When we put in the practice, strong emotions skills can improve our relationships, productivity, and well-being. So think about some of your favorite characters - how do their emotions skills measure up? 

References

Brackett, M. A. (2019). Permission to feel: Unlocking the power of emotions to help our kids, ourselves, and our society thrive. Celadon Books. 

Schwartz, S. (2003). What is this feeling? [Track]. Wicked: Original Broadway cast recording [CD]. Universal Classics Group.